Connections
Unlike what I predicted last week, I’m writing this post from my own bed on campus (by God’s grace, I got a room). Yes, I succumbed to my innate need for roommates, and I’m so glad I did.
This room is certainly an upgrade from my previous rooms. I don’t have 7 roommates but 3. I have enough leg space and my own little corner, more than enough storage space, and even a reading table. The walls were recently repainted, the hallways and bathrooms are well-lit, and there’s a buttery stocked with everything I could possibly need as a student.
Somewhere in my head, I know I just listed things that should be in a liveable student hostel, but...
A few weeks ago, I decided to start a writing club: a small group of people gathering to write, chat, and make new friends. Our first meeting was yesterday, and I was anxious that no one would show up. To my delight, two people did – a big shoutout to Olumide and Iyanu!
To break the nonexistent ice, I decided that we write about ourselves. I mean, who knows us better than we do? And it would be a great opportunity to reintroduce ourselves. We wrote about our most frequently asked question. It was interesting how eye-opening this exercise was. Even though Olumide has been my classmate for two academic sessions, I found out that her most frequently asked question wasn’t a question that had ever crossed my mind. Was I not observant enough? Or perhaps it wasn’t such a big deal to me.
I also found out that she would rather write about someone else than herself. Her reason being (I’m paraphrasing) she doesn’t enjoy introspection. I noted that I shared her sentiments prior to 2023. Writing about yourself is… icky. It’s like looking into a soul-mirror. I believe it requires some level of vulnerability one won’t be comfortable with at first.
As for Iyanu, the last time he wrote anything personal was in 2019. He began his writing journey with paranormal fiction as a young teenager. He was a Wattpad-er back in the good old days ;). Although, unlike Olumide, Iyanu writes personal essays but takes a more detached approach, which shows in his preference for third-person style fiction rather than first-person. He enjoys reading and writing literary fiction, but right now he writes for money and yearns for the satisfaction that comes with spilling one’s thoughts on paper. In his words (paraphrased) “I want to empty my thoughts on an essay/short story. I want to write until there’s absolutely nothing else to say.” Iyanu hopes this club helps him out of his writing slump. (I hope so too.)
I also found out Olumide enjoys writing on paper, and Iyanu believes pen and paper makes writing more authentic, although he primarily a laptop.
As you guessed, I soaked up every moment, and there was a small part of me that didn’t want it to end.
The saying, "Humans are social beings," has never rung truer. You want connections; you want someone’s eyes to light up when they see you; you want someone to marvel at how relatable you are; you want inside jokes; someone to bounce ideas off. We all long for someone who truly gets us, where a few words can mean as much as a 500-page book.
While I haven't formed these deep connections just yet, I believe I'm on the right path.
I remember feeling somewhat lonely during the last semester. Even though I'm supposed to be the girl who thrives by herself, there were random afternoons when I simply wanted to... talk to someone or hang out. I'd scroll through my phone, searching for someone to talk to, but reaching out seemed nearly impossible. What could I say? I wasn't particularly close to anyone, so striking up a meaningful conversation felt daunting.
Over the holiday, I realised how bad it’ll suck if I graduate university without building meaningful connections. University is supposed to be a place of freedom. You’re supposed to meet new friends, go on interesting adventures. I was at risk of looking back in five years and having no memorable experiences to recall.
So, on a quiet morning, it struck me. I couldn’t sit around and whine about not having friends (or more friends because I do have Subomi). It was my responsibility to go out and actually do something about it. Conveniently, I had just completed a Writing Course and saw how easy it was to make new friends, especially if you all are passionate about similar interests, I decided to try it out.
Yeah, I think I’ve hit a gold mine with this thing.
This week I read The Queen’s Gambit and The Hunger Games
I watched The Pod Generation. It was quite insightful and I have a feeling I have to write a whole post about it.
I guess that's what it was when I read you the first time, the feeling of having connected with someone beautiful. I wish you more of that beauty of true connections 💙💙💙.